12 MilLioN ThanksGiVinG Words 2016

12 Million Thanks Giving words
since Thanks Giving day of
6 years old since
web birth in
more oF all
the places those
words still exisT oN line..
and other places too.. in memory
of deleted and banned too.. hehE..
anyWay.. for sure.. what is approaching still
4 Million over 3.3 million words on 7 blogs now
and 8,006 posts still on the Wrong Planet website
that equal likely over 8 million words too.. as yes.. words
do go on.. sung in Thanks giving of alive first to survive in
the midst of the first 33 months of shut-in hell on Thanks Giving
day of 2010.. to the end of that 66 month hell on or about July 22nd of
2013 and now moving on in thrive through Thanks Giving of 2016.. with 100K
photos or so.. including illustrations of public dance approaching 6500 miles since
September of 2013 arrive now still fully alive in documentary record as auto-biographer
and sing
online iSREaL..
so sure.. a 723rd celebratory
Macro-Verse of this and more to come..;)
And yes.. as habit will have it..
the very first thing i wrote
online on Thanks
Giving night
of 2010
started with a list..
a grocery list of what
overwhelmed the hell out of
me in sensory way.. as i was totally
burn out with flight and fight stress then
where it took me close to 33 months to
even get at this point online to stand the pain
of computer screen turned all the way down to write
the first word of ‘Radio’ here.. yes.. the Wrong Planet
i arrived where the clock was set ahead for the next day
after Thanks Giving day.. no avatar for me until Christmas Day
of 2010.. when/wHeRe some how i mustered the productivity to scan a baby
photo of myself all blue eyed blond haired and smiling with the natural affect
of love and joy.. a place of heaven as child that i vowed to go to again.. and surely
it took me close to another 33 months to get to that place where even a memory of
a smile or laugh came again life Isreal at the end of July of 2013.. Modern culture almost
killed this Canary in a Coal mine in all the multi-tasking mechanical and social cognition
ways at hand back in the day when computers were speedily replacing human beings
with even more multi-tasking duties.. 2 years of fight or flight stress to be more precise
and 2006.. even two years before 2008.. the Winter of the start of my discontent..
where suddenly colors on the TV screen hurt my eyes.. and black and white
was a solution to that point.. and soon even black and white became
intolerable pain.. no doctor to this point has been able to fully
explain that.. but a transformation of pain in cocoon would
eventually become
a butterfly
of existence
in bliss as well..
some folks call it a
nervous break down..
in literal all bodily system
way.. hard for Doctors to measure
it.. yet.. others call it a phenomenon named
as Kundalini rising.. where certain detours
arrive in hell before heaven comes clean..
well.. since science cannot explain it.. it surely
says something for a God that is more mystical than
you Horatio may have found yet to this point.. as surely
i’ve gone to places now in human potential that i had no idea
existed then.. i did not speak until age 4.. i had trouble speaking
all my life both in writing and verbally in coherent manner that other
folks would be remotely interested in hearing at length.. i was uncoordinated
and people often asked if i was a dizzy fly as such.. had to watch the wife walk
beside me in stores to feel any comfort of gait.. and then came the miracle.. the
Kundalini Rising.. bi-polar rise or whatever way science describes the Dr Jekyll
to good cop Hyde Clark Kent change.. yeah.. literally in personality way from INTJ
to ENFP in a matter of weeks in the Summer of 2013.. along with the difference from
not being able to go into a Whatabuger for even 15 minutes to soon arriving at public
dance solo in front of hundreds and ultimately being named by some audience members
after doing that for a year or so as a legend of dance in the metro area.. increasing leg
strength during that same period of time all the way from a Quarter of a ton to half a ton
now.. at 33 reps.. of what used to be 8 or so at half that weight from the time i was 21 until
the 54 years of age double the strength epigenetic change in human potential more.. this is
a witness of human potential and the higher power of God the same.. i document it for evidence..
and no it is not beyond the realm of human reality.. bottom line it is a real isreal miracle for others
to see and aspire higher too as well.. as anyone who has gone high enough will only wish others
go much
as they
a team member
of the human race
wanting the best oF all
to rise as nows go by..
anyWay.. this was/is the first
short and sweet and succinct thingie i wrote..
having no idea if i could make it through the mountain
of pain with each word i typed then with the crucifixion
worse pain of type two trigeminal neuralgia that had come
to close to 33 months here to tolerate the screen lit at lowest
dull light.. a dentist drill like pain without novocaine in right eye
and ear.. still no sound tolerable for years to come.. not even a speaker
hooked up to computer as any sound just made all of life.. worse then..
bottom line and lesson for the moral of this story.. don’t give up.. ’cause
yeS even at the lowest levels of pain and numbness of existence in life
now a phoenix can rise from ashes and cocoon in butterfly way float too..
as never ever imagined sTiLL in lucid waKinG dreAMs of FruiTioN then isReaL..:)
Radios, Black & White TV, Color TV, Cable TV, VCR’s, Satelitte TV, Surround Sound, Heavy Metal, Computers, Cell Phones, Pornography, MP3 players, I Pads, I Phones, 24 Hour News Cycle, High definition TV etc.
The evolution of technology bombards the human senses, and we become addicted to the adrenaline not realizing the effect on the health of ourselves or our children.
Constant bad or good stimulation eventually will wear any living thing down and/or change the way it thinks and behaves. Especially, if you are experiencing it with no physical movement to burn off the adrenaline.
I think many of the people born 40 or 50 years ago that are now diagnosed with aspergers might have symptoms of low functioning autism if they were born today.
I couldn’t complete sentences until I was four years old, but managed to cope with the demands of life with high functioning autism and adhd. I can’t imagine being born today and having a chance of a successful independent life.
I think we are the canaries in the coal mine.
And now for an idea of the scope
of what it is in tangible form to write
12 million words it is the equivalent
of more than 14 bibles and 140 Koran’s
as some folks have a good idea of how long
just one of those books are.. completed in 6 years
time.. with sure more to come.. along with the close
to 6500 miles of dance now in 39 months or so too..:)
Okay that was the first post i wrote on the Wrong Planet website..
this is my last post.. and the last visit a Jonathan Livingston Seagull
made to
say good
bye and
good luck again..
post number 8006..
mostly in standardized
Queen Victoria English style..
to appease the moderators of course
in not threatening to delete me and ban
me for visiting once again.. for the last time on
August 12, 2016.. sure.. in usual epic style now.. hehe..;)
I’m not normal. I refuse to be normal. Not being normal is awesome; in fact, some folks with open minds see it as Super Epic. I have great respect for Alex for developing this site as it helped me to develop my writing talents that I never developed in any creative way in either school or work; just on a couple of occasions where for some reason I broke free in middle school for a Christmas story contest and Philosophy class in college.
In short, i reached deep down and expressed emotions in words that was very difficult for me to do other than short factual statements all about non-fiction, of course.
Anyway, I don’t post here anymore, because it is very difficult for me to conform to the form of what folks name as the way the English Language is written in straight lines all the way across the page.
In my opinion, it should be expressed naturally like sound waves, or perhaps more poetically put like the waves of the Beach and what is left when the essence of the Ocean become the shorelines of that essence as waves and never ever straight lines.
I am a curvy person now; I do not move by sidewalks in steps or lines of pages by words. But, Smiles, most of the rest of the world sees lines and sidewalks, and moves accordingly the straight and narrow path of what is designed by the architects of sidewalks and pages. I am much more now like the Matrix oracle and Neo2 and architect3.
Anyway, to make a ‘normal’ paragraph break. I refuse to be normal, because i can. I am re-tired with rubber now on what once was hard and metal wheels, and am Financially Independent and without that millstone of Having To Conform, and by the way I would fully capitalize those three words for emphasis but the straight line and sidewalk folks of the world, of course, would see that as yelling, instead of simple emotional emphasis as that is the what normal expects; and sure, I understand that as i used to conform to normal to survive in society.
There are two types of intelligences assessed in science. One, is fluid intelligence; and the other is crystalized intelligence. I just so happen to have a great deal of both, as empirically assessed, now. What that this means is I know the facts and I can revert back to normal writing, if I apply the rule of sidewalks and lines of conformity in crystalized intelligence.
According to research by Michelle Dawson, non-verbal Autistic folks with a verbal delay in childhood, like me, who had this difficulty until age four, often compensate with fluid intelligence as neuroplasticity and epigenetics will humanly and naturally do to adapt to challenge of environmental struggle and change. And later in life they actually exceed so-called ‘normal’ ‘neurotypical’ folks in measures of fluid intelligence.
And interestingly, these once non-verbal so-called Non-Verbal Autistic folks, also have been shown in Dawson’s small studies as exceeding so-called folks with the diagnosis of Asperger’s Syndrome, in measures of fluid intelligence. They still lag behind, though, in crystalized intelligence as measured in standard IQ test way. The Raven Matrices measure of fluid intelligence provided the measure needed to illustrate this ‘Autistic Advanatage’, per the non-verbal folks with language delay of spoken speech.
In reference to one of the comments in ‘this’ discussion, where an individual stated that their classmates sort of stagnated after high school, per Michelle Dawson’s research, this makes a little common sense, as use it or lose it applies to all stuff human being.
Go to school and learn facts and get a job and do the same thing over and over and sit in the same basic way of sitting down all day; and physical, sensory, emotional, fluid, and crystallized intelligences stagnate from not doing very many things different anymore, than at least school demands in the way of learning so-called new facts, from before that increase crystalized intelligence in memory way.
And yes, of course, it is more complicated than that but I’ll try to keep this somewhat short in what my potential is of writing close to a Novel in one sitting, as I continue to increase both types of intelligence by simply using it, gaining it, and never losing it, to this point at least, in my life.
Interestingly, when Hans Asperger’s case study patients were followed up on later in life; most had found niches they were good at and were doing quite awesome, in fact; credit fluid intelligence of course, in adaptation to challenge of struggle in the environment, and change.
Now, then, the thing about the original assessment of what Hans named as Autistic Psychopathy; verbal delays like mine until age four were included in that assessment. The APA was as they say, stuck in the world of crystalized intelligence and wanted to make the diagnosis as ‘normal’ people do, by the Crystalized Intelligence book of before. So, they made basically a watered down version of what they already named as Autism, by simply reducing the number of diagnosing elements to ‘Autism Lite’, also known as Asperger’s Syndrome, back in the 1994, DSM IV addition of that diagnosis.
Now, the DSM 5 has come up with a behaviorally determined cover-all diagnosis to make life even easier for them to label it as just one thing. This is what normal people do. They come up with labels and pills to make life easier for them to solve problems.
Problem is; this approach is symptom based rather than root of condition based. And of course that root in the case of Autism is in the whole of the human being in all types of intelligence; including sensory, physical and emotional intelligences that Standard IQ does not assess at all. And if you’ve ever met a psychiatrist; most lack high degrees of emotional and physical intelligences as they are medical doctors and they have been studying facts in the way of crystalized intelligence for literally decades sitting at a desk and now even worse, attached to a computer all day; even in the office with the patients at-hand attempting to do mechanical cognition and social cognition at the same time, which even science shows now, is not what human beings are evolved to do efficiently without the potential for great stress and reducing the proficiency of both types of cognition now, when each is not focused on separately. And of course that is common sense, but no, common sense is not always the way of the crystalized intelligence of what comes before in book way. By the way, wow that was a really long paragraph and sentence; it could be so much easier to read without these long, long lines.
I am diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome by three diagnosing professionals, still. I have the paperwork to prove it. My sister is also diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome. More than likely my father and grandfather had the same condition but of course, the diagnosis was no where to be seen in most of their lifetimes. My father did law enforcement and never rose above the ‘degree’ of Deputy Sheriff as he lacked the social skills to supervise. My Grand father was an X-Catholic Priest and a noted Author of last Century who even dined with Einstein in the socialist party circles in New, New York in the intellectual circles of that place then. By the way I am very wordy and can be very precise and detailed too, if I choose to express that type of intelligence with relative human free will.
Initially, my doctor diagnosed me with PDD NOS, because of the language delay in childhood; but after further assessment changed me to the Asperger’s syndrome diagnosis, per the original Hans Asperger’s diagnosis of the condition that includes a potential language delay in childhood that is often associated with Hyperlexia, in which I was a very precocious reader with difficulties in reading comprehension that fits that mold too.
I have extreme tactile sensitivity, which means I cannot touch anything manmade without extreme discomfort. I spent most of my life in man-made environments with hands closed and rarely open, to avoid touching man-made stuff with my finger tips.
This Wrong Planet Internet site, helped me immensely to express myself in writing. I thank Alex Plank, very much for the opportunity to write on this site, as by the time I was able to accommodate 19 medical disorders, enough to write on a computer, about two inches from the screen in extreme pain, with most of the disorders, likely a result of Autistic Burnout after conforming to what society expected of me in over 30 years of work; yes, this site probably literally helped to save my life, as I was suicidal for the two years before that. I had Type Two Trigeminal Neuralgia, the worst pain known to humankind, like a Dentist Drill in my right eye and ear without novocaine, for a total of 66 months, from wake to sleep; including 33 months with a lot of that time spent here writing as no drug would touch that pain, and writing helped me a little to remove it from my focus.
It took me 66 months to recover from two years of fight or flight stress that basically almost killed me, as science shows now the stress hormones will break down one’s body from head to toe, which did happen in my case. Doctors have no idea what causes Type Two Trigeminal Neuralgia, but in my case it certainly may have been associated with the break down of myelin sheaths as i was in pain in every cell of my body from head to toe, too. I was also assessed with Fibromyalgia, Sjogren’s Syndrome, Dysautonomia, and Severe Degenerative Arthritis in my spine, etc., but the worst part was losing my emotions as without emotions there is no glue for cognitive executive functioning.
What I found in my personal research in the road to having an incredibly awesome and epic life now as assessed by some third party interests, is increasing my physical, emotional, and sensory intelligence through free style dance and free verse poetry to connect language with emotion and to regulate emotions and integrate senses through the art of movement (dance/martial arts) as all emotions and senses flow through the human body, and moving naturally regulates emotions and integrate senses when one moves innately, instinctually and intuitively without lessons on how to move.
Anyway, I am comfortable in my own skin now, in ways of getting around the world with advanced proprioception and in emotionally regulating my feelings in the human environment and integrating senses, which means I am centered and no longer lost in an environment, ‘out there’. Yes, I have great self-awareness now, where I was incredibly deficient in this human skill before that seems to come naturally for most everyone else.
Here’s the thing though, with use it or lose it; I received all my gold stars in school, through my Hyperlexic ‘super power’ of reading very fast and memorizing rote facts that I spit back like a computer on multiple choice tests. The teachers loved it, as they never had to help me do anything in the way of learning or tests. Problem was that had little to nothing to do with the real life of work that I would encounter after earning three degrees in college, So, in a way, this incredible strength was my incredible weakness, as I failed to work very very hard on the types of physical, emotional, and sensory intelligences that would make life so much easier than the incredible hard it was that almost literally killed me by age 47.
I survived. I adapted to struggle and changed. I continue to rise now and thrive.
There is even a song for that I will share below. I am so sorry that I did not continue that line above to the side of this page, as I must conform here to come back to even say all of this. But here’s the other thing, my so-called professionally labeled Autism is Super F iN epic and it has made me one of the most epic individuals to ever dance and write on this earth, and I prove that by writing the longest long form poem in the history of humankind, now approaching 4 million words; and sure I literally prove it with my signature link below, as it is way too long to ever ever publish in print.
In fact, Microsoft word says it would take over 30,000 paper pages to print what I name as the ‘SonG oF mY SoUL’. And i also have fully documented almost 6,000 miles of dance in tens of thousands of photos in that same Super Epic personal bible of mine in autobiographic fashion too that includes close to 1000 selfies of gorgeous college age girls smiling ear to ear with me at the dance hall I have danced now for 122 weeks named Old Seville Quarter in Pensacola Florida. Funny, the girls never liked me in school, much. And now totally beautiful college age girls I do not even know attempt to kiss me, or at least that’s what it looks like at the dance hall with their friends, as recent as last night. And I can even prove it here, with my signature link in my most recent blog post with the photo, as the photo is too big to fit the formatting here, in case one wonders, if i am telling the truth.
I make zero dollars by doing this. I have danced walked a free verse style of martial arts and ballet everywhere i go now for almost 6 thousand miles after I recovered from the disabling portions of those 19 disorders that without question I suffered with, like A Biblical ‘Job’ for 66 months, as a shut-in in my home. Yes, Autistic Burnout hurts, very bad, as I can certainly attest to.
So what does this have to do with the topic at hand. Autism cannot be assessed by behavior alone, as far as what makes it the most difficult of all to deal with in the inner Universe of the human being. No one could see the stress I was under when I was in those two years of flight or fight stress at work, as i conformed, as I truly believed I would never ever get another job because people most always thought and expressed I was weird. I wore a mask of Okay when I was literally slowly dying inside. It really hurt, so bad.
No one could see that hell, but me. I looked normal enough on the outside, and still do now. I am different. I am even too different to post here the way I normally speak now in words, and I accept that as I do not expect anyone to tolerate or accept me, as often folks don’t. To each his or her own is the way I live. Where folks tolerate and accept me it’s wonderful, and where folks don’t, I move on to greener pastures, as online allows an environment out of my closed- minded community in my red state area to do that in ways of blog and poetry to express all of who I am as different and human being.
As far as dancing everywhere I go like a Bruce Lee Ballerina at around 6 feet tall now at 235 Lbs of solid muscle. I am stronger than every Marine in my military gym with legs now that press close to half a ton 33 times in what the strongest folks who leg press there cannot even budge as I’ve watched them try it up close and personal to their dismay. So no, i am no longer that uncoordinated Five foot 10 inch, 120LB scrawny boy from Middle School with the long blonde hair, pretty blue eyes, and eye lashes that people called the F word and not Fred.
My genetics are different, I matured slowly, and am still getting stronger by the day, as empirically assessed at the gym. So, no one messes with me in the general public, as I can easily pass now for a College Linebacker who floats like a butterfly and can sting like a bee with martial arts kicks every which way and loose.
Botton line is, I do not fit in, but I still rise to the occasion of all my human potential and am no longer held back by anyone who lives on the pages and sidewalks of crystalized intelligence. I am fluid as whole, and I am the Ocean and Field and Wave and Particle whole as one in trinity of threes that even science assesses as real.
As above so below, inside, outside, and all around. Most folks don’t realize we are walking and talking mini-me’s of the Universe when whole and part the same. I was blessed by Nature in what I view as God to be able to see and feel this.
If my Autism Is a Disability, I fail to see and feel this. In fact I fail to see any labels at all.
I am, I rise and thrive, end and beginning of the story whole.
And this will not make total sense to perhaps
95% of the people here as you folks are
much more normal than me,
as whole
as my
shows here.
Oops, I did it again. Again, just dropping by out of respect for Alex. He probably is more Autistic like I am when I was his age too. And sure, he has already done something super epic by creating this site. It just took me longer at age 50 and after to start the journey of me finally getting free away from societal expectations that make no sense for me.
I was the last kid picked on sports teams, and the one who was picked on by almost everyone for being different in middle school.
I am now, likely the most different person of all in my local community, as assessed by that ‘general audience’. But here’s the thing, I accept all of who I am now from head to toe. No one stops me from being me now, because I am strong enough to be me now, no matter what anyone else thinks or feels about that..
I no longer conform.
Again, I rise, I thrive.
I sing
A Song
of Free.
Thanks Alex.
You did a great thing
by making this site.
And no, no one will ever ever cure me
again into the insanity of normal as insame..;)
And as the moderators predicted, I am still incurable from being me. And at least for me I F in Love it. And no, I cannot come back, ’cause I will not conform. But again, that does not mean I do not appreciate Alex for helping me to finally be me, by creating the opportunity to write on this site, as Super Epic in so many ways never ever seen before.
Have a nice day.
I hope every one here will
one day rise, thrive, and never
ever conform again. But yes, first,
make sure you have some money,
as the working world will not accept that;
The ‘normal’ one at least, with smiles; but sure, I could on and on about that so bye, and I do mean bye to this straight line..;)
(Song Rise, by Katy Perry for inspiration. Inspiration is important in life
and so are emotions fully expressed and not repressed or oppressed.)
Whatever it is i have.
It is a gift
Bottom line,
and I prove it everyday,
for the naysayers of life that
say you can’t, you can’t, just ’cause you are different.
KATiE MiA FredericK!iI
Gravatar is one of the coolest things ever!! !
Sometimes.. i suppose.. it is easy to take someone
who is in your life for literally close to 18 years
for granted when that someone still now
seems like they are
owned by someone
else.. and Tennessee
here takes the spotlight
today for his resilience and
beauty as a creature of God
who knows and feels God more
i can promise you than most humans do
as he lives in balance one with Nature God and
same.. keeps moving every day with every sacred Tai
Chi-like kitty move one with air and water same with Nature
whole.. interconnected.. interdependent with no separation ever
from God all.. hmm.. and it shows as this cat lives a full life free and
content in a simple gift as sliver of heaven on this green.. brown.. blue
and sandy planet that he rolls one with sand and sun as/with God in the
bright noon-day sun.. and then hugging the grass at midnight light
of stars and moon same.. never close to realizing the damage
that the human creatures are doing to the planet as
in this neighborhood and in this yard there is
no pesticide.. or other poisons.. nor even
human fertilizer to change
the struggle and
bliss as survival
in Tennessee
fur too
with aqua
green eyes that
say.. i not only survive
i thrive too.. in a place of
abundance.. now.. a visitor
with me again.. for close to 18 years..
often coming up.. when i felt.. so alone inside too..
hmm.. friends are like that at least one comes when you need them..
and yes.. it is often the furry ones with no judgement loving unconditionally..:)
Well.. ‘Rogue One’.. the newest installment doesn’t seem
to be generating nearly the marketing hype that the
first new Star Wars movie did last year at this time..
that movie coming out on December 18th of 2015..
and Rogue one arriving
on December 16.. two
days earlier this year..
of course.. the newer opportunity
was there last year after so many
years break of series renewal to sell
all the old stuff remastered as such in shiny
new packages.. anyway.. what and how what is
marketing in society for commercial success says a
lot and the record i keep of that in actual photography
stream is multi-purpose as yes.. believe it or not Ripley..
i am doing all of this as A epic Free Lance Anthropologist
as such too.. in the state of not only American Affairs but
human affairs all over.. and sure.. in prep for that
i went to the ‘Wrong Planet’ online with a bunch of
brainiac outcasts who had nothing
better to do with their 140 to 160
reported IQ’s.. who study their
special interest laser focuses
where hey.. i listened as much
as i wrote.. from literal wake to sleep
with rarely a break.. only an excursion to
work-out for 30 minutes at the gym.. 3 times a week.. then
literally forcing myself to do that at the last 30 minutes before
they closed to generate enough anxiety to get the job done..
somewhat done.. anyway.. as no matter what i lifted still at
close to 500 LBS on machine weights with pins and not
plates on parallel leg press that yes.. is light like a
feather now.. surely felt weak from toe to head
even though i managed to press it about
8 times.. and that’s what happens when
human emotions go away..
where even anxiety
is so hard
to generate
for fear to
get you
anywhere at all..
oh yeah.. and the other
thing i did maybe once a week
is force the pain with shades on
still in my uniform of white T-shirt
and sit in the car looking at a privacy
fence in the Walmart side parking lot..
so Katrina could acquire some food to eat..
me.. in excruciating eye pain with eyes mostly
shut behind shades.. while the rest of the world
went on their merry and stressed way.. and from what i could
see it was often the older retired looking folks who were the
only ones going in and out of the store with a smile.. huh..
now.. i know why..
stress is the
age.. not
one.. now i know and
feel feel feel feel for sure
and oh yeah.. after a very difficult
work-out last night after hardly digesting
any food for energy over three days.. my
inner gear is working again.. and yes.. for
all practical intents and purposes.. Superfred
is on the way back hehe.. for iSreal now..
and i am so happy
not to
be a
on the
Wrong Planet
anymore without
a home.. as this
eARTh is most definitely
my only home now all blue
and green.. brown.. white of what’s
left of polar snow capped beauty too..;)
Yes.. and R2D2.. arrived
a year to date ago..
like he does in
the current
on “Fried Forgiving
Turkeys” per the automation
of work in the U.S. and the continuing
state of affairs where humans no longer
need to apply for jobs as they are simply
going the way of automation instead of
flesh and blood stuff.. yes.. the Terminator
and the rise of the machines is a literally thingy
more than just a cultural meme.. the Matrix too..
and many other artistic metaphors though time as
technology continues to somewhat moreover outpace
the human race.. thAT machine almost literally killed me
with stress.. as human beings are not evolved to do mechanical
and social cognition in an open door policy of both with no
rest.. but hey.. that’s what you get when folks come to
think you are Superman.. just ’cause you have
found a way to lock out all the looks
and body language of distress..
or not hehe..
yeah.. sure.. i can laugh
about in now that i’m not on
A highway to hell anymore.. with
no idea then of just how bad it can really get.. oh..
yeah.. every day a deeper Ring of what Dante was
speaking of for sure with no doubts as deep as it goes……
‘A Girl and A Devil’.. more cool Sithfred out in the
store wild of dance photos enclosed in here.. and
another tribute.. to my Friend Lala from Pakistan
from a year ago in this Macro-Verse memory.. and
continuing documentation of a longest season with
not much Fall and Winter in last year through after
Christmas.. as the grass is still bright green coming
to ThanksGiving and the Azaleas are blooming super
early.. yes.. this is both a heARt and Science Project too..;)
And now i end by saying.. i haven’t been significantly ill enough
to even come close to feeling down in two years exactly to date
of when the next intestinal bug came to visit me last Thursday Night..
and not to be able to digest food properly surely puts a cramp in everything
life.. anyway.. i appreciated the entire experience as it did bring back some of
the actual feelings of darkness before that are really hard to actually feel as memories
when one is flying oh.. so high.. resilient in yes close to what they name as a bi-polar high
but in my case more like a natural state of hypomania as of late.. in what brings the height
of creativity.. and what some name as religious type experience too.. as those high neurochemicals/
neurohormones are all ramped up.. as we folks evolved for fLIGht in general nomadic genetic
way are all set out to be.. in other words we don’t sit well.. we must move move move and live
and do more than most in whatever we do.. driven to distraction as they say to maintain
focus and order in life as best as we can as nows go by.. going stagnate as i did for
many years in work until going nuts in directions i never ever wanted to go
up the status and money and administrative latter.. to directions that
are very unhealthy for me.. and now with freedom
i live free and do what makes
me sing and
of yes as i say
and dance more a
Jonathan Livingston Seagull
on terrestrial plane of float and fly now..
no skateboards or dives for me per the ‘Night’
theme song here.. Nike Shox shoes in the 13th pair
now purchased in 39 months does the trick and treat
on solid
for me.. all
rested up now
for the next adventure coming..:)
First.. a note on ‘poignancy’..
For me a greaTest regret
would be to kill oneself
when loved
more than
one could
to ever
be loved
and with
no loving
giving force
as that abiLiTy
has disappeared
as well as the ability/capacity
to feel love.. and the saddest
part oF all.. it is/are someone else(s)
who will/would feel that
poignancy and
not the
the one who
was/is successful
in escaping whatever
is no longer tolerable it seems..
i’m glad.. i had A strength to ovoid
that feeling of poignancy for someone else(s)
but there are places.. there are places.. A human can go
the one
in those
human shoes
of misery and
suffering and the
worst torture imaginable
can understand but those alone..
Catch 22 of Poignancy.. my FriEnd..
been there done that fresh hell ever in a second of alWays now.
” Do you know that disease and death must needs overtake us,
no matter what we are doing?
What do you wish to be doing when it overtakes you?
If you have anything better to be doing when you are so overtaken,
get to work on that.”
~~ Epictetus ~~
StArt writing
a book
no beginning
and no end no matter
pen or step or art of liFe…:)
“The flesh surrenders itself.
Eternity takes back its own.
Our bodies stirred these waters briefly,
danced with a certain intoxication before the love of life and self,
dealt with a few strange ideas,
then submitted to the instruments of Time.
What can we say of this?
I occurred.
I am not… yet I occurred.”
~~ Frank Herbert, Dune Messiah ~~
Life IS A Miracle
in itself.. to fully realize
and live this life as such
IS A taste
of death
And fear IS A
illusory devil..
A main
iN all of thaT
from first
to last
breathe in Heaven
oF Free and Bliss..
or hell
and pain…
i’LL take the first
door to the right
or left
Free.. courAge
and kiNd wiTh
smARt lOvE sAMe uNconditionAlly
AnD alWays diFFeRent change for more..:)
“If you understand, or if you don’t.
If you believe, or if you doubt.
There is a universal justice
and the eyes of truth are always watching.”
~~ Enigma ~~
eYes oF TrUth
anD liGht
aS BaLanCinG
FoRcE alWays noW..:)
“A heart is not judged
by how much you love
but by how much you are loved by others.”
~~ The Wizard of Oz ~~
Except for
moments headlining this…
Everything flows and nothing abides;
everything gives way and nothing stays fixed.”
~~ Heraclitus ~~
Time IS
A river
and alWays Changing..
(PS.. i have a theme song now2..;)
“One must be partially insane to remain sane.”
~~ J. Bothwell Avison ~~
In thaT case
ain’t crazy..
says.. i’M unusual
in a cool way.. NoW
i guess..
for DancE
and SinG for no reaSon
but FucKinG LiVinG A dreAm iSREaL oF JoY..;)
“A man who fears suffering is already suffering from what he fears:”
~~ Montaigne ~~
To come to Love
A dARk most
is to liVe A liGht isREaL..:)
We’re not talking about the same thing,” he said.
“For you the world is weird
because if you’re not bored with it you’re at odds with it.
For me the world is weird
because it is stupendous, awesome, mysterious, unfathomable;
my interest has been to convince you
that you must accept responsibility for being here,
in this marvelous world, in this marvelous desert, in this marvelous time.
I wanted to convince you
that you must learn to make every act count,
since you are going to be here for only a short while,
in fact, too short for witnessing all the marvels of it.”
~~ Don Juan ~~
It’s true.. i’m religious
but NOT iN a sense of A church
iN A FEEL oF A existence NOW..
stream.. pain..
digestive discomfort
it’s aLL A hoLy and sacRed gAMe oF
noW ever changing sAMe isREaL noW..:)
“My skin,
my bones,
my heretic heart
are my authority.”
~~ Catherine Madsen ~~
WeLL.. my friEnd
Prajakta.. verily
i say.. you capture
A essence iN Sublime
Beauty as A Force of hUman
CreatiViTy heRe.. weLL.. as streAMs
of consciousness branch out from
rivers and
of Ocean
never ending
as shores
along lines that Golden
SpiRal sAMe as SonG and
DancE free as fingers and toes
and all pArts of WhoLe can and
WiLL do free unfettered by fear
of stop and go.. outstanding
my friend
with applause
from me for now
with pleasure as a
visit ends foR noW.. FriEnd..
SeriouSly.. CreatiVity IS A
best FriEnd oF aLL.. NoW..:)
WeLL.. since this IS A 12 MilLioN Words oF ThanksGiVinG..
celebration of 6 years of writing on line.. since at least a million
of those words are inspired by the online dVerse poeTry prompts
Pub and crew.. i’LL visit
and take
a quick breather
and stARt as Breath
or breathe is the 44 word
Quadrille prompt theme of Monday
past as i arrive a day late to respond..
digestive system all back in worKing
order now it seems for sure..
so.. let’s see how
i breathe
in poetic way for
now at leisure
Song and Dance more..
oh.. what fun a Holiday SeaSon
to AlWays coMe noW so WeLL..;)
Yeah.. i kNow and feel
juST a bunch
of floWery
to mE
Hmm.. yep that’s mOre
than 44 words and a paragraph3..;)
Breathe of the last
fAll Leaves.. i too can
relate mishunderstood
as last
and Summer
too in Florida
Panhandle way..
January so red.. budding
beauty and the
were.. oh
so.. confused
by the month coming
enteLLinG what should
be a new breath of colors..
anyway.. almost freezing here
recently in more of fAll colors
i too
the color
of dying
as it springs
life alWAys BriGhter
too when all is healthy
and vibrant as dARk and
liGht goeSprinG after fALL..:)
sky leaves tale
color in cold and death..
of blue
liFe above..:)
This oNe is so true
to put
it simply..
we exhale
fear we inhale God..
as God breathes free thru uS2..:)
2006.. i suppose.. in November
and birth month same
and another friend
from work then..
same as Katrina’s
mother too..
a hard
to give
up and perhaps
it was the month
my 1st stepmother grasped
her last breath too.. all
one common element falling
before 70.. a pack of something
that took tHeir breathe away.. and
i remember the last heart beats of her
mother too.. watching her grasp for breath
with all her reflexes through tubes the same
as 55 beats became 40 became 30 became 20 and
that was
it.. and
then there
was a step father of sorts
married to a 2nd stepmother too.
who both had this habit ending living wired
up to tubes of oxygen now where life failed..
his.. in the December month of Christmas.. my
father too in May 2014.. with complications.. albeit later
after living with this habit for about 6 decades until his
81st year..
it seems
a woman’s
lungs are more
likely to fall to
this habit from what i’ve
seen but for sure but for sure
i can tAiL that iT is an addiction
that not only kills quick but slow
style.. so
slow so
as last breath fAils…
It’s one of the most
ironic things..
off bays that
figuratively and
literally can together
same take one’s breath away..:)
Living clouds
side note..
now says..
yep.. i kNow
that’s more
like a Haibun..
Haiku.. eTc..
Fredku as
such2 but
hey.. i
iN iT for
the rules..
as side note
ends and back
to the regularly
scheduLed whatever..
as i for one breathe free..
Moon sleeps
sliver break
Sun Breathes
star liGht..:)
so true my
friEnd.. when
mistakes breathe
bEyond err
SMiLes my
friEnd.. EmoTioNs
are the breath of liFe
that move us
and poetry
map of
heARt thAT
BRingS spiRit
in Masculine
and Feminine
where i live
it’s not a Republican manly thing to do.. heHe..
smiles.. but hEy.. tHeRE’s alwayS online and free
and all
natural balance..
i often attempt to
explain a bible IS A juSt
A book of poetry2 but
‘they’ see
sacred and holy..;)
Well.. the wife
Katrina is breathing
rather intently that it is
time to resume ThankGiving
preparation shopping detail..
and sure..as
my stomach
and all
is groWing
Public dance
too.. while the
turkeys unwittingly
find their way to grocery carts..
while i dance by free as wild turkeys do too..;)
Facebook Friend Greg
and yes once again i say
also fellow employee at
the Bowling Center for 18 years
and beyond that through my last official
paid days through 2009 working for the
Government at
the Navy
in home
town way
for 25 years..
shares a ‘Quizony’ FB
ego booster test on what
kind of Angel i am based on
a written multiple choice test..
hmm.. i don’t think ‘they’ do that
in heaven and hell on earth.. in FACt
i know ‘they’ don’t for demons and angels
same as yes.. it’s kinda a Karmic eYe thingie..
anyWay.. the results come in as “VIRTUE”.. hmm..
sure.. now.. i can relate to that miracle thingy too..;)
“VIRTUES – the Angels of Grace who bring God’s blessings to Earth, usually in the form of miracles. Known as the ‘brilliant’ or “shining’” ones, they are associated with acts of heroism and bring courage when needed.”
The Facebook Video Production.. robot
team as always.. assists greatly
in documenting
the last
two days
of life..
and yes..
dance dance dance
with my new dance shoes
fully employed with somewhat
fresh legs.. resting much more than
usual over a sick aS Such weekend.. ugh..
anyWay.. getting back up to high speed..
as more than anything
else the feet are fresh
and limber..
and very
very strong
now from rest too..
flying through the Grocery
and SuperWalmart Aisles with
the greatest of ease.. 1020LBs leg pressing
sTiLL 33 reps as such last night.. at gym2..
with food staying a little longer in my
body now thru
as T
day looks
much more appetizing
now than the last few days..;)
Yes.. now
Christmas FloWers
highlighted here too..
beFore we get to the check out
lane.. hmm.. everything seems free to
me as i’m just tHeRe to dance and take photos..
and yes..
i’M willing
to sing
requests too..;)
Well.. perHaps
on a more serious
and perhaps even
somber musing
point.. now
the Karmic
eYe comes
out to play
and yes..
as expected most
everything to appeal
to the more dARk side
of human Nature to get
elected.. yes2 for those who
live by fear and hate instead
of hope and love.. you kNow.. the
audacity oF iT.. huh.. hehe.. anyWay
the bad ass Trump is kinda shrinking up
as reaLITy sets in that he is noW servant of
the entire country Now and not a dictator of a corporation..
and nah.. it’s not like the Republican machine has his back either..
as deep down they would love the Pence more than dealing with this shit..
anyway.. let’s
see if someone..
anyone.. can get some
more improvements done..
it’s possible that the Trump
is more a Democrat still in
he wore to
campaign aS in
case anyone has sTiLL
forgotten he was a New York
Democrat and Social Liberal
most of his life.. but you do what
it takes to get elected huh.. and keep
the choir singing all the way to ‘the booth’..
looking for a second term at 74 years of age..
not likely.. he’ll likely go for the record.. instead.. of the next four years..;)
Hi Rafiah..
“All grown-ups were once children-
although few of them remember..”
So true and i would go one dance step
further in words.. well actually more than
one step and say few of them feel and sense
the play and overall wonder of child being.. now..
Sadly i..n a way.. while A new Testament Version
of Jesus says to enter the Kingdom of God.. one must
view it through the eYes of a child.. tHeRe are no how to
instructions.. just empty words for those who have forgotten
the feeling and sensing being of play and wonder of a child
and have lost
this heARt
this spiRit
of eXpreSsing
EmoTioNs and SenSes
and FeeLinG and SenSing them
sAMe and stronger as waves of an
ocean go in and out and expand shores
iN A life of joy and wonder same.. that is all
innate.. instinctual and intuitive for the eYes oF
heARt and spiRit that come all natural out iN a mix
of BaLanCinG miNd and BoDy soUL.. i am often sadened
when Fundamentalist Christians in my area ask me why i dance
spontaneously in public.. while they stilt their children’s dance down
in the Walmart aisles.. and at church in the pews where the words of
the priest are neither reaching them for joy or play.. yes.. my friend..
society/church has snuffed out the kingdom of God within us that is
the wonder in a joy of DancE and SonG in moving.. connecting
and creating naturally with each other in a socially cooperative
naked forage for life from birth to death.. where the child
and the elder dancing togEther are equal prizes
iN a joy of liFe after the dance and
sing of forage is done..
and you see..
when the buttoned
up folks from Europe immigrated
to this continent wanting to escape a
Manufactured Monarchy of God by greed in
hoarding grain in silo humans jealous for those
who have more than giving and sharing they found
a Native American who danced freely and wildly and
naked lovingly around campfires of moonlit God nights
toGeThER aS oNe WiTh God with no separation.. they called
them animals instead of seeing them as the real wild and free
loving children of God they were.. they called them savages as
they wore few clothes.. they killed them mercilessly and had
a great challenge as these folks did not fight back in
straight line regimented fashion.. they fought
as Lions or what they named as savages
for their rights to wild and free and love..
there is Karma for this my friend
that is self-fulfilling
and that is
the misery
of those
same people
who would take increasing
freedoms away if they could..
minions of monarchies they are
and they come in many fashions..
but the common denominator my friend
is they follow a most despicable leader who
would abuse the weaker for power and status…
i was hoping in the last three years that i could dance enough
to entice these minions in my Northwest Florida area to change
them into children again.. and what i find my friend.. is it is only
the children who even see me.. and young adults now before they soon
reach a forty hour a week job and the liGht is slowly extinguished
from their heARt.. SpiRit and SoUL.. and the child dies inside. in
what has become a mechanical cognition robot way of life.. and
yes that comes in school too of course but at least tHeRE
is flesh and blood contact between human beings
at recess and lunch.. if there is any recess at all..
anyway.. seriously.. if i could have convinced
them to dance.. just a hundred thousand..
or so.. perhaps the most despicable
leader ever to arise in
the US would
have no longer
been a
taste suitable to
joy of a child my friend.. and
i could have helped to change
the course of history.. but sure.. on the
other hand.. i wouldn’t have the dark muse
to write this.. i guess.. and eventually do whatever
it is that God has me doing this for incessantly from wake to sleep..
anyWay.. i’m not the go to guy.. just the how to guy by example.. as
a Child of God
and Heaven on eARth
IS at hand now clearly
isreal full of play and joy..
and i do it witness it and scribe it as now goeS oN..
with plenty
of how to
in clear view too..
AM heRe..
Hmm.. that was interesting..
heHe.. @lEast for me.. and
now to one Macro-Verse Memory
today and i will say there IS A festive
feeling in the sky as empath’s like me who
are alWays on Vacation can feel the EmoTioNs
and SeNSes of oThers in the metro area as this
ain’t no normal hump day.. this is Turkey Cooking
day and the excitement in the air for the deer hunt
coming is almost palpable as i continue a SonG inside
of brick walls here.. and sure.. the kids will be getting out
of school early where half a day is even joy.. and yes.. thinking
about it brings more joy too.. as i once lived in a zoo and prison same too..
anyway ‘Loving Living in the Milky Way’
from two years ago here..
write on topic as it were
and still is too.. as hey
heaven is fun
to SinG
you are currently
inhabiting that place
within brick walls or not..;)
And yes.. a Macro-Verse short enough to fully quote here too..
More specifically..
i love living in North Florida..
where at least for me..
long pants are never necessary…
place where a human who takes care of their health..
enough to un-domesticate themselves..
There was a time.. when chronic stress and fear aka anxiety
Stole my life from me..
Where truly i was no longer adapted to my environment…
All sensory input
was too much for a body grown foreign
natural habit!
And watching the movie
Interstellar tonight..
i think it is so sad..
that human beings do not more fully appreciate all the exquisite
Some folks even think the natural world is evil..
believe we are here to dominate the earth..
per all
This land is NOT
i am just a flesh and blood man..
is when
a SonG
to you
that is employed
by more than you
in colors of sound that
“I still find each day too short
for all the thoughts I want to think,
all the walks I want to take,
all the books I want to read,
and all the friends I want to see.”
~~ John Burrough ~~
A Child who still lives..
You know it’s funny
i had a Sociology teacher
by name of Oldenburg.. oh
my God he was my age now then
and seemed.. oh.. so old and when
he spoke of living forever he said
live forever.. ha!
my friends
are bored..
it’s safe to say
my friend.. he no longer danced..
if he ever did at all ‘tween the
ears oF
Oh yeah.. and i had another
Sociology teacher who taught a class
iN Sociology of aging and she showed
photos of ‘seniors’ my age now in therapeutical
pools.. and there was
a girl in the class
about 25 years of
age.. disheartened
that her Frankie
beach parties
never came..
well.. you see.. i wasn’t
only a Social Sciences Interdisciplinary
major.. i was also a Health Science and
Anthropology major.. obviously no high paying
job would come of this.. but i had already traveled
to both highest mania and deep deep depression so i was
more interested in surviving in balance than making money..
in other words.. the core of Maslow’s Hierarchy of development
iN basic
at lowest levels
iN existence as Pyramid of
steps higher and higher..
to self
actualization now..
apex of being human
born again as such as ‘they’ say..too..;)
Anyway.. i said boldly in class that if one
takes care of their balance and continues
a healthy exercise and diet well up into their
50’s there is no reason why they will not still feel
like a healthy youth at that point.. the teacher and some
of the students scoffed at me.. called me an idealist and even
a zealot.. hehe..
and some said
i should spend more
time in business classes to make
some bucks if i was ever gonna
get a job and a mate and stuff like that..
but the Frankie Avalon girl literally asked me
if i was Superman ’cause she was more interested in
what i was actually doing in a triple major while maintaining
three part time jobs to get through with about three hours of sleep
each night.. she was a dreamer who still had dreams.. i was a realist
who read
and Charles
Atlas and friends..
including Bruce
Lee.. back then..
hehe.. and now
i am a dreamer too..
oh.. what a mix of paradise that is now..
as i have my Frankie Avalon days still
now at age 56 at a Dance Hall not far from the Beach
every FucKinG Thursday NIGht Week coming into
the 136th week
this Thanks
GiVinG WeeK…
‘you’ see.. being a realist
and dreamer is not enough
you have to get out there as Nike says
and just do it no matter what the FucK folks
say before not only do they name you Fool and Superman but Legend too..
SeriouSly.. my life is like
a movie that has too many
scenes for anyone
to tell the literal
true story but
me.. but isn’t
that how everyone’s
life is who has time to
reflect and live it more than ever before..
in Paradise and scribe the story as they go..
i refuse
to believe
i am special
and anointed
as i FucKinG worked
for Paradise as this is no
FucKinG gift or grace alone
and God IS A God of merit more..
for dreams
of Paradise
to come true in
Trump Castles with
labels and no essence of joy within..
like Bibles and other books that outlaw Song and Dance..
or perhaps
those who
didn’t see
Dance naked..
in more vile ways..;)
“I searched into myself.”
~~ Heraclitus ~~
Yes.. that goes
without saying now..;)
“The world is full of burled and gnarly knobs
on which you can hang a metaphysical system.
If you must.”
~~ Edward Abbey ~~
A Realist and Dreamer
a dash and dance and song of doing..;)
“We should consider every day lost
on which we have not danced at least once.
And we should call every truth false
which was not accompanied by at least one laugh.”
~~ Friedrich Nietzsche ~~
as Dance..
and SonG of Free..
i seriouSly hope Nietzsche actuAlly danced
at least
a third
of what
he wrote..
more than writ..:)
“If you can spend a perfectly useless afternoon in a perfectly useless manner,
you have learned how to live.”
~~ Lin Yutang ~~
Value do..:)
“Every evil to which we do not succumb is a benefactor.”
~~ Ralph Waldo Emerson ~~
i test myself
iN temptation
and find it makes
me much much stronger
avoiding it..
some folks
my wife..;)
keeping stuff
undercover is
and A
highway to imbalance..:)
But usuAlly that only
makes sense
to the
fully exposed with the balance..;)
“You thought, as a boy, that a mage is one who can do anything.
So I thought, once. So did we all.
And the truth is that as a man’s real power grows and his knowledge widens,
ever the way he can follow grows narrower:
until at last he chooses nothing,
but does only and wholly what he _must_ do.”
~~ Ursula K. LeGuin, _A Wizard of Earthsea_ ~~
Follow your
and Fuck
the rules
without passion..;)
“Do not go gentle into that good night
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light”
~~ Dylan Thomas ~~
FucK Passion
with Passion
from first
to last grasp oF liGht..
and one never
too far
from liFe..
And don’t hold on too tiGht..;)
Ending note..
Happy Thanks Giving gigoid..:)
So i come iN full return fully aLive moving into
Thanks Giving day 2016..
after writing 12 million
words stARting that
venture to just
even have
a chance
to escape
a tiny hair
of the worst pain
known to humankind
on Thanks Giving day of 2010..
yes.. type two trigeminal neuralgia
to be specific and precise again.. like
someone drilling your teeth without novocaine..
except.. in my case it was my right eye and ear as
burning hell beyond fire.. and yes for some idea of comparison
in what even related medical literature describes as a pain worse
than the torture of crucifixion but in my case no hanging from a
cross for three hours or three days.. 66 months.. wake to sleep wHeRE
almost 33 months came before i could use my eyes for any words at all to look
at or type then without intolerable pain.. as each word then was still a mountain
of pain both to look at and write.. and yes i come back to this album cover and song
as i had taken notice if it.. when about senior age in high school in ’78.. well after the
release date in ’67 that the stone bust of statue that was just some random
statue of a law enforcement officer out of John Lennon’s
yard as Bric-à-brac collected in high culture
way of life.. anyway.. the resemblance
to my long law enforcement
face with mustache
inherited i guess
from the
did 46 years
in that profession
as life long vocation.. too..
caught my eye.. and was implanted
somewhere deep for years to come and rise
again.. after i rose as the actual professionals who
were taking care of me literally named my sudden recovery
as a miracle on or about July 22nd of 2013.. at least the psychotherapist
who went
to a Catholic
Chuch anyway
hehe.. so
i was
kinda high
kinda very very
high.. to be rid of that pain..
in technically what they name after
a 66 month dead zone of feeling almost
no emotion at all.. as a bi-polar high too..
no more than two hours of sleep from July
of 2013 to November of 2013.. until i visited a
farm and slept 8 hours soothed by the furry ones there..
and one of the first days.. i almost ran through 5 red lights..
Katrina brought to my attention.. and the song about the man
who was looking at lovely Rita and blew his brains out in a car
came on the radio as a stark warning to me in synchronicity way to come
down to earth if you want to really continue to live.. so sure.. anything can now
save our life.. poTEnTiALLy.. iF iT speaks to what needs to hear on the inside of
liFe now.. discount no source of life as savior as all can save.. dARk and liGht with
the proper ingredients of fortune mixed in.. so that album cover became a ‘little’ of a
special interest.. and coming to find that the Beatles as a group of actual human beings
were searching for enlightenment and awakening more than material goods only.. at that
point in their life.. appreciating all those in the fields of intellect and art in a lonely
hearts club band in struggle to bring greater liGhts of human Freedoms to other human beings..
and i started to think of myself as not only a resemblance of that statue but it as a symbol
of being resurrected from the previous dirt of ignorance and oppression and
repression of emotions and senses and the general robotic way the
rule making of society had brOught my life to that point
after 66 months in hell of total
Han Sleyes theory of
general adaptation
total animal
exhaustion from
constant.. yes.. chronic severe
stress could eventually literally
kill someone as the cycle of that
destructive force lives on as science
now proves out in empirical way as well..
And i understood what reborn really meant..
and what hell and heaven and purgatory really
were ’cause by that point they just weren’t platitudes
in books of old.. they were isreal actual experiences of
my life and suddenly so many things in life made total
sense/feel where before they were just vague platitudes
and empty shells
with little
and substance
from sages of ages
gone by that suddenly
arrived all for me at one now
then.. yes.. i was turned on fully
alive again.. phoenix riSinG from
the ashes born again.. like the parts
of a book and books actually attempt to
relate for hiGher and more viable isreal human potential
now.. not after death.. now.. where heaven is at hand now juST now..
i arrived and BaLAnCinG iT aLL was all that was left.. sure.. i could have
continued to enjoy it alone and just dance my way around without scribing
what would come neXt.. but a little bird.. a holy spirit inside said.. upload this
soUL and share it with otHeRs as you’ve been to hell and this IS A Heaven continuing..
a share in any attempt aT all to help anyone else at aLL to find a spArk of any kind
to come to this place iSReaL now.. many lonely heARts club folks have pitched
in to help me find this place.. and all those heARts and SpiRits and
soULs live in once what was a alabaster stone
statue buried away
from life
in hell..
so this is what i do
i give thanks and give more..
as Heaven and Paradise here is too
life is more
than food.. life
is magic when fully iSREaL
when stone statues rise in color aGain..
and do tHeir best to turn oTheRS on too..:)
So.. sure.. i’m still in the sAMe
bedroom.. by the same
window.. except for
now 24 inches
is open
dark blind
of before
and my eyes
can tolerate the
liGht and my ears
only wish i could play
this song louder as my ear
buds won’t go up any higher
and i wouldn’t wanna bother Katrina
in the other room in front of her best
friend it seems for now
a TV..
yes that’s
kinda what
happened ‘they’
said to Moses
in that old testament
movie with Charleston
Heston when his durable
wife traded notes with the perfumed
woman of before.. his God took her
man away from her.. and it’s kinda like
that hear.. but anyway.. like Spock says
sometimes the needs of the many outweigh
the needs of the few.. but i do love that woman
or i’d never be alive to serve the Master of God
and Nature same with all my Luke Hot heARt.. spiRit SinGing
higher now nigher as soUL and Body BaLanCinG moRE as
instrument more of God that even huMan being more it seems
as Angels
if they
exist these
days too.. now..
so yeaH it’s been
kind of a record year
as coming to this 12 milLion
words in these 6 years this last
year of 2016 started with a GodsUniVerse
Novel at 41K words then GodsUniVerseNovel2
at 51K words.. then GodSuniVerseNovel3 at 338,630 words
and after that it was 9 chapters at “Book oF Ten Sixteen” with
144,244 words at the fourth book.. culminating in a total of 12 chapters in
in the fifth book named.. “New Testament oF Eleven iN HeaVen ‘SiXteen”
at 181,221 words which IS A technical edition of three more chapters than
came the month before that and i noted a 42 months of witness for
God on September 11th.. 2016 since the 10th of March in 2013..
when i sTarted this whole blog adventure iN and as
Witness for God oF Nature that came weighing
in at lEast 3.3 million words by that 911
day in 2016.. as the sixth book
whole as such..
SonG oF mY
as copied
and pasted
on the other
two longer lived
Google Blogger
Blogs too.. and sure
one could name this
a 16th chapter too.. this
“12 MilLioN Thanks Giving Words
of 2016”.. And another entire book too..
of over 200K words but better yeT put
a milestone of a 7th books of an entire
12 MiLLioN words as ALL liFe experience truly IS A Book oF liFe..
it’s alWays
a record year to me..
and so much more fun
with zero contingencies
of any
or anything
and giving..
7th book 7th
seal what ever you call iT it’s heAR..
And now for sun
and sand
as life
DancES when FReED..:)
WeLL.. at this point
after a quick jaunt
to see what’s going on
at dVerse for tHeir Tuesday
prompt on City niGht liGhts.. there
are only 12 liNks noW and.. i reAlly
like my FriEnd Kim there as she alWays
seems to recognize my humanity when i
visit her with poetic comments with at least a like
or smiley face.. and surely tHeRE are soMe barren
deserts.. i have been to as far as reciprocal social communication..
goeS and she is the current prompt maker for Tuesdsay in poet style..
but hey.. to reAlly
get strong
ya have
to leARn
iT like you
do in school..
with few rewards
and even almost zero
affirmation or even nay saying
aS it’s not everyone that writEs a
continuous free verse poetry novel on the go..
hehe.. yeah.. it’s kinda like the Walrus.. to truly
explore the extanTs of creativity one must free associate
as many different factors.. variables.. and unnamables to get
to the crux of
in new frontiers
of inner UniVerse
of being human as Rod
Serling might still say and do..
oh.. what a social critic he was and
sort of misanthropic too.. and to tale the
trUth i have yET to lose all hope in the human
race or otherwise what good would it be to do my
best in my own ‘little’ effort to help out.. so.. here i go..
at this point.. 12 liNks sounds like a breeze.. not sure how
iT will fiT iN WiTh the Song but iF i listen to iT while i read
it wiLL likely
fiLter in
as this
is a city
liGht at
niGht seen from
space as the liGht
of Human becomes dArker
in replacing sunliGht with electronic
bulbs of whatever they are noW making
those things out of Now attached to brick
and mortar and steel and such structures..
i’m not much for height or skyscrapers.. i’m
more down to earth with cat paws glued to sand
and sun
in joy..
but never
the less i can
liGht uP a Super
WalmARt or a Dance
Hall at niGht in liGht
WiTh more than those bulb
constructs of and in buildings at night
and cities of human made liGht same..
hmm.. A light is generated from within..
too.. better
than seen..
or town
or dance
hall.. same even
Super Walmart now
with Turkeys lining uP to STiLL be bOught..;)
Hi.. Kim..
City liGhts
are nice but here
not as colorful as beach
niGhts.. what i really love
mosT iS diatoms
iN Summer
sAlt water of
Gulf Ocean
EvEnings where
sand exists beyond
toes to dreAms of
love as
lines wash
humans togEtheR mOre..:)
just a note here..
i remember a deep
sadness on Christmas..
actually a jealousy in
the dead zone days.. where
my mother had lined cards
up from all her friends over the
years and that was missing conspicuously
from the mantle of
life then..
yeah.. sure.. perhaps
it’s a woman thing
and not a man
thing to have
long life
friends particularly
when girl ones find husbands
and move on as such.. and life goes
on.. anyway.. i write greeting cards every
wHeRE i go.. just ’cause i can.. and trUly
they come from heARt wHether the stranger
sees me as the friEnd i see them
as or not..
it’s like
school.. you
do it for the doing
with never a reward
more than
a grade
of pass
or fail…
i choose to pass..
Now back
to greeting
folks in Fredmark way..;)
DArk roads passing by college
dormitories lit up with students
warming each other
with school
day ways
of life..
commuter from
small town way..
peanut butter sandwiches
munched in car to survive..
oh.. i wanted
to be
a member
in a larger
of the human race much
more.. just me then and
A 11 year old Ford Maverick
in colder cloudy November nights/days
there in parking lot.. with crumbs
of bread
vinyl mats colder
skies of grey
night lone
lit windows
of car liFe school..:)
Indian skylights
oF all the worlds
shine acCoss the
sky.. no depths of limits
as far as eYeS can see..
or are they
land.. so.. far…
iMagiNations carry..:)
Well.. my friEnd..
considering i just
used A day in the
life for a muse of
just another free verse
line in a day of me.
i’ll go with
and London
as my guess on
wHere this bench
and cobbled sidewalk
of historial significance
winds on as street liGhts
shimmer stones of memories more…
if not..
another muse..
seriouSly.. iF all
news becomes muse..
it’s hard to be disappointed
by night
dArk liGhts new..;)
that smell..
that concrete
midnight city taste..
so long
from home..
sMiLes.. i grew up
on the shore of a river
downtown where a five and dime
was the meeting place then..
replacing the
area of
with a river
walk.. a place noW
of bands and mingling
red state folks in Summer
and even fall Now too..
but sure..
a River
is always
an attraction
beyond concrete
lights and stores..
bottom lines.. nice to see
people now togetHeR.. further
than a Walmart and Mall Aisle..far..;)
Night walkers.
vampires of the
night in spirit escaping
broad day light oF eYes
that no longer stand A Sun..
i literally was
one of those
creatures for
years before.. my
friend.. without
the ability to
light or
symptom of
the worst pain known
to mankind.. tolerated as
hell.. type two trigeminal
neuralgia from wake to sleep
for 66 months total.. in real hell here..
3 am.. the only time i went out when all was
quiet.. and street liGhts lit eYes behind sHades
like the noon day sun.. what i did lEArn then
as tHeRe
was no longer
any place outside
otHer than dARk..
how happy i was
to finAlly
to extinguish now
more as the blind and
deaf in pain lEArn to see inside..:)
i must say..
i would love
to see the Eiffel
tower all lit up at
but the
wife.. oh
no.. her
say it’s
crooked.. i gotta
get out of here and
straighten those towels across
the bathroom wall..
and no.. i’m
sort of
and thanks
God.. she keeps me in line2..
sMiLes.. can relate
with Dysautonomia..
they say a life long condition..
not technically detected until
my late 40’s..
but well
in an emergency
room.. they could
find no blood pressure
for me too.. it was a bit
of a religious
i might
say too..
at 21.. then..
for them at least.. hehe..
but wasn’t much fun in a real way
later in life when i almost did not recover.. with a side
of total exhaustion to exacerbate the symptoms then..
interestingly.. aspects of it do mimic Addison’s disease..
and for me dancing like an Olympic athlete with strength
training same
makes it
in symptoms now..:)
LiGhts of Christmas
niGhts before A Sun
makes a three day sTall
in the sky and moves toward
A liGht of Easter and SprinG
sAMe of new and floWerRinG liFe
more after fAll and
to SumMer’s
bRing oF beauty more..
City liGhts of liFe SpRing2..
Other than that
Hi.. Lynn.. nice to
see you at the end aGain..
celebrating my 16th chapter in 2K..sixteen..
of a 7th book totaling 12 million words tomorrow..
giving thanks more..
in 6 years..
as just
a note..
i DancE and SinG oN..:)
sMiLes.. if tHere
was anyway i could
explain the office
politics of night
in big
to my
cat he would
just shake his
head and say
head and say..;)
i most often find
as a dragon
of late
i get so
many more
dances when i
drag no fair maidens off into the
about dragons..
and on top of that
my wife IS A fairest of them all..
and i’m
sort of
and i
as some
of this i can
prove in broad band online..;)
And as ending note here as i consume
all twelve links as poet dragons will..
i trust no
has no
lust and or
humor inserted
free verse aS Such..;)
5:08 pm 11232016..:)
Ha!.. guess.. i’ll go first..
first of all i have an actual
Syndrome named Asperger’s..
diagnosed at age 47.. only as
a side note of physical illnesses and
such at that age coming from severe
and chronic 2 year fight or flight stress..
yes.. for 2 years or so in the work place..
somewhat common these
days as multi-tasking
humans to
per efficiency.. humans
as tools has now become
a new age rule.. anyWay..
repetitive restrictive special
interests.. is a natural routine of that
syndrome.. and for me it’s a numbers
game as you may have guessed by now
already.. hehe.. moving from 18 years at the
same job at a Bowling Center.. part of 25.. working
for the government and eventually moving up a ladder
to the stress part of that and watching children grow up before
from baby to having children age then in a cheers like environment
where a significant portion of the population of the town could recognize
me as the Bowling Alley guy.. 8 years in college for 4 degrees.. before the
5th.. actually.. with kindergarten and 12 years before the 1st Associate’s degree..
Bowling Alley routine.. hey.. yep.. any job will do better than none.. haha.. and
then a close to 33 month stint without effective use of eyes and ears to
get mostly shut in like the Hunch Back of Notre Dame with the worst
pain known to humankind that went 33 months more after i started
writing one word coming to 12 million online today.. as this is
the day i celebrate that 6 year routine and numbers too.. and
yes.. another routine i picked up was responding to every
single post Prajakta has written in about 2 and
a half years now.. after meeting her
writing on dVerse.. as i enjoy
the fact that she writes
about something
and interesting
every time i come here
that broadens my understanding
about how she looks at life as a young
professional woman working in India..
where i find from my online adventures
that these people living there i meet in broad band way..
are almost always nice without fail.. could have something
to do with tHeir overall respect for nature.. as the monkey roams
free.. hehe.. too.. over there.. not so much over here.. and that is
kinda sad as dominate nature is kinda the rule of routine here..
ugh.. as the smoke stacks continue to pollute the air.. not
as much.. at least.. what else.. well that’s probably
enough as you know
go on..
but for now
Happy days here..
alWays a pleasure
to visit my friEnd from
India.. Prajakta.. and i like
the way that names sounds
as it seems so so original.. too..
and of course PS.. dance walking about
6500 miles now in 39 months every place
i go in public where mostly the entire metro
area has totally forgotten i was the bowling
alley guy and am now called the dancing guy.. life is good..
like Forrest Gump says too.. if you saw that movie..
as the
life wHeRE the flow goes..
as just another routine dances and sings..
as i ready for my 136th dance week tonight
with all the cool college age folks here
in the metro are dance hall.. and
add to my collection of
over a thousand
photos of
dancing with me around
3 AM iN new age selfie style too..
as a feather continues to get around..
in somewhat super epic
routine.. iN
Style.. thanks.. for giving.. i needed
this prompt today.. iT fits wRite iN.. as routines do..;)
*metro area
(also a very
strange perfectionist
i am too..;)
What better day than
Thanks Giving for family
memories.. Father and Mother
back in ’59 marriage.. And Grandmother
on Mother’s side at age 56.. yes ..my age now
in image below.. on
the left on her river
front home in Down
Town Milton with
my Father’s
my Grandmother
on his right here at age 47..
and my Father at age 27 in both
photos and Mother at age 24.. marriage
ages for both back in ’59.. in Down Town Milton..:)
No doubt.. an after
Saint Rose Catholic
Church photo.. somewhere
around 7 or 8 years old
with Mother of
course.. sister
at 6 or 7.. and
my Mother’s first
Ford Fairlane car
in the background on
River Front home and
i wasn’t quite what one might
name as photogenic back in those
never really
looking at the
camera it seems..
anywhere but and that
issue wasn’t over then..
oh the
of the Forest
Gump Autism
like spectrum as such..;)
See.. i told ya so..
while i have no problems
smiling at a selfie..
it becomes
‘a little more’
complicated when
someone else takes the photo..
for this Thanks Giving Day photo..
with Mother
at her apartment..;)
And.. finAlly.. a somewhat
Nuclear Family photo
with Mother
and Wife
Katrina.. also
celebrating T-Day
2016.. hmm.. as now
i ready for Thursday Night
Metro Dance Celebration with
all the Cool Turkey Day folks
at old Seville Quarter
for the 136th week..
running behind
on today’s
Celebratory 723rd
Macro Verse for “12
MilLioN ThanksGiVinG Words 2016”..
after a long day visiting Katrina’s family
too.. with a few photos coming of that too
in the coming Macro-Verse iF it
gets finished before
dance commences
with more photos of that
coming around 3 am in the
wee hours of bLack
Friday shopping
with no
matter what
goeS oN tHEre..
i’d rather juST SinG and DancE..
keep on keepinG on whiSpeRing a
messAGe of more.. sounding a horn
or such as celebration at the end
and the beginning
as ending trivia
note at the of my
second grade year
at a Catholic Private School
in Tallahassese.. they voted
me Wittiest Boy and i had no idea
what Witty meant then in metaphor
ways.. as i sWear.. bEinG a clown cAme
all natural to me..
BeforE and After NovEL pARTy
Introductory post to Free Novels
41K words
Free Verse Poetry Novel
51K words
Free Verse Poetry Novel
338,630 words
Epic Free Verse Poetry Novel
Approximately 3000+ printed pages…
With Hundreds of Beautiful Beach Photos..:)
KATiE MiA FredericK!iI
3.3 Million plus words
Super Epic Free Verse Poetry Novel
SonG oF mY SoUL..:)
Approximately 30,000+ printed pages…
just ’cause
i caN
buiLd iT..
FoR Free..:)
And yeS.. FinAlly..
CrediTs FiELd oF DreAMs..
A Thanks YoU oF sORts..
Love iS
GRains oF SaNd
hOld mounTain
LoVe NoW..:)
GodsUniVerse 42 HiTchHiKinG
Hmm.. more and less..
A Meaning oF liFe..
After Book of Fred
And Purpose
of course too..
for mE..:)
6000 Miles of DANCE WALKING! NOW!
Documenting this Public Feat oF Feet in 3 years..:)
After Dance oF Fred
NeverEverLand DoN’T
Stop DanCinG noW..:)
Book oF Ten Sixteen..
9 Macro Verses from
October 2016.. totaling
141,244 words.. all liNked
from that Month like A Great PumPkin..;)
New Testament oF ELeVen iN HeaVen ‘SiXteen
Total of 12 MacroVerses with
final chapter of this New Personal
Testament named as such.. 181,221 words..
as streAMs.. RiVers… OceaN wHOle wAves SinG oN.. FReED..:)